You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
