I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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