that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
