Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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