i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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