so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
