i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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