I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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