Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
