dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
