can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
