take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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