apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
