i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
