So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize