Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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