We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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