my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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