i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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