I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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