I wanna bring you to show and tell
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Girls should come with a carfax report
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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