So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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