This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
