everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
