the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
