My nipple is on Facebook.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
