You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
God, I missed his penis.
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