Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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