Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
