You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
