just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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