She's JV to your varsity
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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