I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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