i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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