So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
