Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
