Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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