hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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