Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
