I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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