HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
this hospital has no fireball
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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