I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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