I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
