After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
