why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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