How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm sobbing to NWA
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
