We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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