Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
