We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
