i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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