Yo dont text me then not text me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize