you win again, gameday.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
