how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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