Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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