youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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