fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
BRING THE BAGELS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
