How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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