Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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