Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
