so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
