:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
