The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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