I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
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πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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